The story of an Afghan mother, a US soldier and a common past that they can't forget.
One paragraph synopsis:
A drama that follows a new life of a refugee, Maryam in the USA. Maryam a 40-year Afghan mother who has lost her kid and husband in Afghanistan War, comes to US to begin a new life, to forget the past and make her new future. But things changes when Maryam realizes the US soldier who has killed her son, lives in the same city...in Orlando.
Promotional images such as logos, posters, post cards, icons, etc.
-The cover of Birds Don't Fly Anymore's Facebook page.
- The profile picture of its Facebook page
- A mock up of the poster
Birds Don't Fly Anymore's business cards
The links to website and the Facebook page.
Birds Don't Fly Anymore website
Birds Don't Fly Anymore Facebook page
I'd appreciate if you give me your comments and suggestions especially about the log line and synopsis.
Great looking stuff, Payam. The logline definitely distills the gist of what your film is about and lays out a fascinating premise. I don't know if you need "in Orlando" in there, though, unless that's a big part of your marketing concept or something.
ReplyDeleteThe Facebook photos are simple and eye-catching, and the concept of the poster is good, even if the details still need to be worked out a little bit.
The business card has a good base, though I feel nothing stands out as far as the text. The title kind of fades into the card, as does your name, the two most important elements. You could maybe increase the size of or switch the font itself to make it bolder and stand out more.
As for the websites, the home page of the main site feels lacking. You have a nice background image, but I still feel like I should be looking at something that tells me where I am and why. Maybe a logline, maybe another image.
Also, it feels strange that "Home" is listed twice on the navigation on the sidebar. The font of the main text on these pages also suffers from the same problems as that on the business cars, in that it kind of fades into the background.
The Facebook site has a good concept, touching on the topical nature of your film with the war-related posts. The posts seem somewhat infrequent, though. Also, the "about could be a little more snappy and direct, as a lot of people aren't going to bother clicking on it to see the rest of the text otherwise.
But all in all, good work.
Payam,
ReplyDeleteI am really excited to see your project coming together. Overall, I think that everything you have shared is consistent with the project you are pitching.
I do have a couple suggestions/questions.
First, the fonts are a bit difficult to read on your business card and promotional images--are you using a drop shadow around the text? You might consider trying that or you could put a transparent black or gray background behind the text--that would really help the text be more readable.
Here are some examples of what I'm talking about with the transparent background behind text over a picture:
http://i.stack.imgur.com/Galbu.jpg
http://media.smashingmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/images/60-more-css-techniques/105.jpg
http://i.stack.imgur.com/aCWmg.png
http://www.linkhostmedia.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Screen-shot-2010-01-28-at-4.31.45-PM.png
http://www.systemsofmerritt.com/SOM2/images/iPhone%20rogers%20images/Default.jpg
Using a drop shadow or transparent background behind the text, along with Tim's suggestions above, might help the text stand out a bit more.
Second, on the back of your business card it says "Birds do not fly anymore," but the title of your film is Birds Don't Fly Anymore, right? Also, your Facebook URL is BirdsDoNotFlyAnymore. Even though "don't" and "do not" mean the same thing, it is a bit confusing that you use two versions of your title--which is it?
I agree with Tim that you don't necessarily need to include "in Orlando" in your synopsis.
Your logline conveys what your movie is about and makes me want to see it. Nice job!